Uggs, jugs and the primark patrol

I don't like beginnings. Not in the convential sense. They're awkward, full of pleasantries and half-hearted waves. You aren't quite sure what they think of you, so you stand awkwardly, chest thrust, back straight but eyes downcast - a picture of uncomfortable defiance. Defiance against what? First impressions, bad opinions and a lack of attraction. Because of course, even if you aren't attracted to them, you want them to be attracted to you. Why? You love the way it makes you feel of course. That first catch of eyes, shy smile and glint of interest. Yet, it so rarely goes the way we want does it? Usually you blurt out an unfunny joke, make a risky comment you're not quite able to get away with before shuffling away into the crowd - off to search for the next glass of booze to dim this already unfortunate memory.

Shall we just skip? Pretend we've known each other for years? Injokes and winks at the ready?

Good. That'll make things a lot simpler.

Uggs, jugs and the primark patrol - so what does it mean? Well, have you noticed how the 'youth of today' (don't you just hate that phrase?) are starting to look a bit like an army? An army in which the uniform is a pair of scruffy Ugg boots, a top that has your boobs spilling out and at least one item purchased from primark. And what are they fighting against? Originality I suppose, though one must presume that they don't do it on purpose. Don't be silly, they don't have the smarts for that. It's a sad truth though, that walking down the highstreet these days a unique outfit is hard to come by, with everybody shopping at the same handful of big brand shops this is to be expected. Of course you do get the odd fashionista, draped in finds from charity shops or somehow making those everybody-has look everybody-wishes-they-have. This though, is pretty darn rare. Now don't get me wrong, i'm not particularly fashionable myself - in fact i'm probably quite the opposite - I dress in what's clean out of the wash and what I like, with little thought to the overall effect. What seperates me, and likewise thinkers, from the primark patrol however is that we are at least concious of unoriginality. We do not think spray tans, jeggings and leather jackets that look like Topshop vomited them out, are the height of mode. No, we accept we don't have that fashionable spark and leave best alone, allowing our more adventurous of friends to carry the torch for us. We are the robins among a sea of pigeons, lusting after those allusive peacocks and their funky accesories. Yes I just used the word funky, what'cha gonna do?

Anyway this is all getting very off topic, and making this sound like this is going to be a fashion blog (god forbid) or...well i'm not sure what else, but it's definitely looking pretty hazy right now. No what this is going to be a comment from a rather-young-youth, about the behaviour of rather-young-youths, opposed to the zillllllllion adult blogs telling you how to date, when he is going to propose and what's the best foods to eat when you're pregnant.

well i'm afraid that dating at our age involves at most a trip to the cinema, I bloody hope nobody is going to propose to me, and if i'm pregnant at sixteen then eating nutritiously will be the last thing on my mind - in fact i'll probably go drown myself in the nearest bowl of cookie crunch, before my mum can get to me.

So please, sit back and enjoy as I break down what it's like to be a part of the uggs, jugs and primark patrol generation - and how best to survive. Or at least if not survive, hang in there to the bitter end.

casssssssie xo